He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
