Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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