its not stalking. its research.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
