If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
