So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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