honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
