It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
