I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
