So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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