If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
