I should be sponsored by Trojan
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
