Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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