Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
