I am puke
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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