Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
