Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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