I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
