their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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