I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
third nipple confirmed
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
