This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
