South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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