wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
