Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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