And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
