i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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