I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
