you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
