I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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