you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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