I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize