I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
