I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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