This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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