do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
