I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
