i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
