Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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