Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
