I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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