That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
