My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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