So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
