who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
