i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Why can't burritos get me drunk
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
