i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My vagina is officially offended.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
