i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
