All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize