SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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