Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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