just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
