drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
