I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
