ya dads aren't the best wingmen
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Randomize
