I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
