I'm going to jail i love you
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
