Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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