I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
