ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize